Flux

Penny Arcade is having a wow short story contest. If you are a gamer of few words, exactly ten, and you can squeeze meaning into a narrow alley then give it a try. It’s for fun but you do have a chance of winning prizes. My first temptation was to use recursion to break the ten word rule, such as “Ttohnarawc the Orc, his name a recursive acronym, was confused.” But I quickly recovered my sense of slightly more useful purpose and sent this instead.

Screaming caps at the turtle, twitching afk silently watch, unmoved.

It’s entitled Turtles, Undead, and Honor.

Strange things breed in the corners of the internet. For whatever reason two reoccuring spawns appear in World of Warcraft global chats. The amazing abilities of Chuck Norris and what movies Murlocks are starring in.

They either drive you crazy or makes you laugh. Like an earthquake building up pressure, players regularly engage in one or the other and sometimes both. Both the annoyed and the enthusiastic responses feed these omnivorous creatures.

Chuck Norris Facts

For those who don’t know who Chuck Norris is, you should or he will kick your ass. Around the year 2005 previously unknown facts began to surface. While some of these may seem to mere mortals to be impossible, given our experience with the World of Warcraft we now know that such feats are possible.

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There is a place, up in the mountains far away from the battle between the Horde and the Alliance, where kids play and grow up unaware of the war. It’s near the Throne of Elements. And who knows someday one of those kids might claim it, if the farmers ever leave.

There are several places in the World of Warcraft that are just fun to see. Let’s go take a look at one.

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For those of you who like pets, there are over 80 non-combat pets in World of Warcraft. There are also a few combat effects that act like pets. Some are easy to get while others are incredibly difficult to find. Taking some time out to hunt down one of these can be a welcome distraction from the grind of leveling or gearing up. And you get a little friend.

Pets come from from a variety of sources including vendors, drops, quests, crafting, and special promotional awards.

By far the most difficult pets to get, often impossible, are the promotional award pets. These are available by going to conventions, buying special editions of the game, or getting lucky and finding a reward card in the trading card game. You are typically given a game code which you can turn in to get your pet.

Let’s take a look at some of the fun, interesting, but still obtainable pets.
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Want to trick the enemy, need a costume, or do you just want a new look? There are items in the game you can use to change your appearance for fun. Let’s take a look at some.

Blix’s Eyesight Enhancing Romance Goggles
Gnomes/Orcs

An item you can buy during the Harvest Festival but with a twist. Instead of transforming you or someone else it makes every Alliance character look like a gnome and every Horde character look like an Orc. It’s fun to wear during raids or pvp and take screenshots.

Dartol’s Rod of Transformation
Furblog

An Alliance quest chain includes a quest item that turns you into a Furblog! Unlike most quest disguises which you can only use in limited areas, you can use this item anywhere in the game. The effect lasts for 3 minutes. But be careful to not finish the quest chain if you want to keep this item. Like many quest items, finishing the last steps will remove the rod.

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Unlike in other ages where King’s easily bestowed titles upon the rich, WoW doesn’t have titles for gold or even many for accomplishment. Some MMO’s give titles for the easiest of accomplishments like killing several hundred rabbits for the title Rabbit Slayer or Wanderer for discovering new areas. But in WoW titles are difficult to obtain and most require PvP. Let’s take a look at them.

Non-PvP

There are four titles in the game that do not require PvP. They are Scarab Lord, Champion of the Naaru, Of the Shattered Sun, and Hand of A’dal.

The first title “Scarab Lord” was introduced before the Burning Crusades Expansion when patch 1.9 came out. There was a server wide event introduced to open the 40 person raid Temple of Ahn’Qiraj. The first person to complete the difficult series of quests used a gong to open the temple. And the first couple people within ten minutes to do the same thing got the title “Scarab Lord”. This only happened once per server. And only about one to three people per server got it. At last count there were only 150+ people in the world with it. Rare indeed. (more…)

So you want to be a Loot Ninja? It is an historic and enriching profession. But sadly it is full of amateurs making your job extremely difficult. Do not make the choice lightly, those amateurs and how to be ninja guides have so exposed us that the title of ninja is a death wish. You will be ignored, guild kicked, and booted when your real profession becomes known. If you are still not intimidated, read on. Yes, read on.

The key to being a loot ninja is never be caught. If you are caught, then deny everything. Yell that no one saw you, no one can prove it, then vanish! You are a master of stealth, misdirection, and effectiveness. Nothing can deny you their loot .. except fame.

What should you do and not do?

The most important rule is to not loot everything in sight. This is the tactic of a low level ninja. Remember that fame is your enemy. Once you hit level 70 word can spread quickly among the elite and your career will be short. Your name will spread like wildfire across the land from channels to guilds making it impossible to find more victims. The Master Ninja works in more subtle ways. Let’s take a look at some essential ninja tactics.

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